Naps are the worst. I said it. They have the uncanny ability to make my sleepy brain sleepier and turn a content mood into downright grumpiness.
They also have the magical power to transform the prospects of a good day into a thunderstorm in the blink of an eye. And no matter how hard I try to pull my sinking spirits up, I end up awake at midnight in tears.
You see, I woke up from a fitful dream about work to a phone call from a friend asking to borrow my cap and gown for her daughter. Then she told me just the gown, so put my mortarboard back in the closet. Status: groggy, but eversowillingtohelp.
My sister called for a ride home from work a half hour before I had to leave for Romy, so I dashed to primp my sleepy self up so I could drive straight to work after dropping her off at home. While on the way back, my dear friend called again for the cap. I ran in and out of my house, delivered the cap, and rushed out to work. Status: slightly stressed and sweaty with no A/C.
I made it to work on time, chit-chatted with my co-worker, then I was alone in a dead store on graduation night. I sized the clearance section while singing along to our playlist (or making fun of the stupid songs). I closed on time, while still having a few moments to vacuum. A slow close is a happy close. Status: almost skipping to my car.
And then it happened. Just as I was getting a bit happier, everything crashed down with a few swings and the final blow. Now here's where it's a bit complicated to describe in full. But I think it's amazing how one person can say one thing and make you feel confused-hurt-worthless-stupid-angry-whatdoicare-shouldaseenitcoming all at once. And I may not have been sensitive enough to end up in tears if it hadn't been for that nap.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," right, Eleanor? I do believe that's true. Which is why I can't help but blame myself for everything. For falling into a trap that was destined to hurt me. For thinking I found something wonderful, which revealed itself to be a rotten apple. For sipping some poison, thinking it was a milkshake. And for taking a nap.
Naps are the worst. Maybe my old friend, Real Sleep, will forgiving me for cheating on him and let me wake up on the right side of the bed. Status: dry-eyed and ready to fall asleep. Also, grateful to my bloggy friends for letting me rant a bit.
Good night.
